I think giving up anything that you do in a daily basis is difficult. It doesn’t matter if it is technology related or not, if it is a habitual thing then it is going to feel unnatural to go without it. But for the sake of the class assignment I’ll stay on topic. I’d like to think I’m not too hooked on technology that I am dependent on it, but I do agree it does make things easier so it’s only normal for me to want to continue using whatever it may be. To me saying that gives me a sense of irony. I know I can go without some things but I tend to have an addicting personality. If there is something that interests me or that I like, there’s no reason for me not to continue being interested. But lately that has not been too much of an issue with technology. I’ve recently bought a new computer and since have become more hooked on it but it wasn’t long ago I stopped using my old one, therefore I am still conditioned to not need to get online. Mainly because I would use my iTouch to cover my online needs but I’ve had days when I didn’t use either.
The only thing I can’t really go without is my phone. If it was up to me I would love to sporadically turn my phone off and go on with my day, but that is unlikely considering how much my dad worries about me and how often he feels the need to contact me. So that’s out of the question. The only other type of technology I have been fond of has been either TV or videogames. Considering my roommates and I decided to not have cable (one because it’s a distraction and two because it’s another bill we don’t need), video games would be my only challenge. Luckily I had this epiphany during the summer. It had become a habit for me to casually play from time to time but not necessarily every day. Therefore if I were to not play as a challenge, it would have to be at least for a week. And that’s what it the first week of school.
I knew my classes would be tough enough for me to be forced not play as much and study more often instead. I made it without many issues, although I occasionally thought about playing for “just a few minutes.” What I did realize is that I’m not terribly addicted to technology. I do like indulging from time to time but it isn’t a necessity to get through my day. Although recently I have noticed the demand and reliance of technology due to school. Even as I’m writing this blog! I am not complaining, it’s kind of an excuse to get my fix but at the same time it’s potentially condoning a bad habit. Anyway, here’s a brief list of “technologies” I use on a regular basis:
Laptop
Radio and entertainment system
TV
PS3
Xbox 360
Wii (now that one of my roommates brought his)
Itouch
Smart phone (Palm Pre but I wish it was that Evo)
2nd TV that now goes in my bedroom
A little poem made during class, similar to Raymond Carver’s “Photograph of My Father.” I was gonna go back and edit it but I liked the flaws and roughness. Here it is:
May. In the middle of the courtyard our family stands reunited. The three of us boys and my father in traditional suits while my mother wears a silk dress.
We pose for the picture while we embrace the moment. We are trying to capture the essence and purity of the situation. The few seconds we stand there are precious for some.
But we don’t know when it will happen again. We don’t know if it will happen again. How can it be that such different lives can derive from one, never to be the same?
If I were to categorize my intentions here in college, I would say I strive to be a scholar. I love learning; I really do enjoy discovering something new every day. Even if the things I learn don’t necessarily apply to me directly, I still like to learn about them. I find most topics interesting and I’m curious enough to care about things that don’t relate to me.
I think one of my favorite hobbies is to simply challenge myself in little mini games I make up. They are like basic mental exercises that I do when I’m bored just to see if I can do them. Like adding up the price of all the different items I’m buying from the grocery store, including the tax, and trying to get the total before the cashier gives me the answer. Granted that only works when it is less than 10 items. Or I’ll try and figure out an angle or a length based on facts that I know about a building or structure. I basically make up real world word problems on the spot and try to solve them for the “fun” of it. But I have to say what I really enjoy doing the most is discovering a new piece of equipment or technology, and by simply reasoning out, I’ll try to think how it is that it works and see how close to the actual concept I am.
That’s my biggest thing, understanding how it is that things work is such nourishment to my mind. Everything makes so much more sense and concepts become so much easier to grasp, so I continue to condition my mind subconsciously. I do realize that for the most part my mind works in a more logistic and spatial way, but that’s why I’m here in college. In my mind I’m surrounded by a cohort that share a similar interest (to a certain extent) and for the most part we are all here to optimize our careers by learning. But at the same time, we open our brains to new ideas and new ways of seeing and dealing with issues. I guess you can say I try to learn all the practical things in life that will help me succeed on my own. Whether it is how eat or exercise healthily, work or maintain cars properly, or accurately build things from scratch, I try not to limit myself to a specific type of stimulus, and in an environment where people teach on any subject of your choice, I feel right at home. I only wish I could be able to absorb much more information or at an easier, faster rate. I’d like to think that that’s the true reason I’m here. Yeah there’s the fact people make more money in average with a degree, or more doors and opportunities open up when you are a graduate; but in the end, to me it’s just about self realization and fulfillment. Of course those perks are a plus but they aren’t my priority, because if you learn all you can or become all you can, the rest follows through and there isn’t a reason why you wouldn’t succeed.
On a similar note I also do like being able to contribute to a community. Especially in the health based majors, where your lack of knowledge or passion can be detrimental to a case, patient, or outcome of a situation. It’s imperative to bring to the table the absolute best you can. Would you rather be treated by a mediocre doctor, or one that actually took the time and effort to fully understand the subject? With that viewpoint, I try to be the latter; therefore I am here in college to continue developing as a person as well as my abilities.
I wonder if OCD can be conditioned. If so I think lately I have been doing just that. Ever since I started working at Noodles I feel like I have become more and more OCD. But at least it’s getting worse for the best if that’s possible. Considering that the things that really bother me are things that shouldn’t be like that anyway, like something out of place or an individual smudge on a clean surface. The nature of the job is perfection, which is fine because I am all about that. Making sure that everything is the way it’s supposed to be only clarifies and simplifies anything around it. Like working at a clean and organized desk; I’m way more likely to do productive work than at a dirty, messy one. But this is getting ridiculous. It’s not quite out of hand and I think it isn’t serious enough that it will, but never before in my life have I had these feelings of discomfort and felt compelled to act upon something. Even if it is a single fingerprint on a window, or a bottle of Sriracha hot sauce whose logo isn’t facing forward, I HAVE to do something about it. Even if no one notices I NEED to fix it to relax.
At first that was fine because it made working easier since my standards where higher than those of the company, but when I started coming home and continue feeling the same impulses is when I started to get worried. I’ve always had tendencies to do weird things in order for them to feel right to me, but never this often. I remember symmetry being a really big pet peeve of mine. If I had an itch on my left arm, I had to scratch my right arm after scratching the left one so that they were both balanced and in equilibrium. Now I find myself cleaning my windows and bathroom mirror as well as my sink or desk when something is out of place. I guess they are somewhat good habits but I don’t want to do them because my body forces me to do it. It gives it that kind of negative connotation to do it that way. I just think it’s weird how your daily habits can affect your everyday thought process. I worked so much over the summer that I essentially kept working while at home and practically dreamt of the same concepts. I gotta say I’m pretty happy to be back in school and have a different sort of diversion that will no longer induce that reaction. I don’t necessarily want to block it out, but I just wanted to control it before I can’t. Either way, I’ll try to maintain the good habits but with a more positive purpose this time around. I think I might have to go back and look into OCD more in depth in order to understand it better
The top 30 things I’d like to do or accomplish throughout my life, in no particular order.
1. Sky dive
2. Compete in the UCI World Championships (BMX racing)
3. Go to the Olympics
4. Get a few tattoos
5. Live in Europe for at least a year
6. Visit Hawaii
7. Graduate from college
8. Get a PhD
9. Get married
10. Have at least one kid
11. Visit my hometown where I grew up
12. Run a full marathon
13. Learn to properly swim
14. Complete a triathlon
15. Visit my mother in Italy
16. Travel abroad to bask in the magnitude of historical sites
17. Own a house where I want to live, not where I settled
18. Go to the beach every year for a week
19. Grow out my hair long
20. Bleach that hair white
21. Buy a brand new car
22. Build a car from the bottom up
23. Learn to paint
24. Continue to study fields that interest me
25. Ride a horse
26. Go fishing
27. Carve something out of wood
28. Plant and grow a tree (preferably near my house)
29. Be awesome
30. Continue to extend this list and have try to constantly have new experiences (besides the old ones)
The only thing better than a one-of-a-kind opportunity, is a second chance to that same opportunity. Not necessarily because you get to do it again, but because you learn from the first time to truly appreciate and take advantage of it by the second time. I feel very lucky to have a second chance. Though the last year has been a new and intriguing experience, it has also been eye-opening to the importance of education.
Being unable to continue studying last year, I was able to live on my own and experience what life may be without much preparation. That’s a key word to me, preparation. Preparation not only to succeed in life but to do so on your own terms. Some are lucky enough that regardless of how successful or unsuccessful they are in the real world, they can always get support from family members or friends. There’s nothing wrong with that, if I had the choice between getting help or trying to make it on my own every year, I would certainly check the help box every time. To me this doesn’t mean that it is impossible or even less likely for someone to succeed on their own, it just means that there slightly less resources to begin with, the consequences are a bit more significant, and it requires a much more focused drive. In fact I feel the majority of the people who have fewer resources at first, or are unable to get much support from anywhere else, have an attitude that is more likely to get them ahead than those who have it easier.
In my experience I’ve come to conclude that I’m not exactly more of one or the other, but I feel that I fall right between the groups and sway back and forth depending on the situation. This has helped get a glimpse of what both worlds are like, and appreciate both situations from either side of the field. I am ecstatic and extremely grateful to have the opportunity to pursue my dreams of education. I love to learn! Maybe that has something to do with my passion for being here in school, but when I see other students who are unappreciative and take this opportunity for granted, it breaks my heart. It almost even upsets me. They go to school because it is “what they are supposed to do” or because their parents and society wants them to do. School basically becomes an extension of time for them to avoid dealing with real the responsibilities of the world. Don’t get me wrong, in my opinion students can still graduate partying every other day, and doing the bare minimum assignments, or scoring just high enough to pass the exams. The same students can probably still find a job in their field and make ends meet. But the minimum shouldn’t be the norm, and I feel a lot of people fail to see that.
I have been lucky enough that most of the people I associate with have their heads on straight and are very oriented when it comes to their success. And I love that, because it helps me be the same way. I love the influence and I almost feed off that energy and that drive. I guess I just have an issue with people who have a hard time seeing things for what they are, I’m just glad that I realize what my goals are and what my resources are to achieve them. I hope more and more people have this same epiphany and take advantage of their situation sooner than later.
